Ciao Bella! 

Grab your tea, matcha or coffee, and come sit with me for a few minutes.

I want to share a beautiful reflection I had this week as I’m writing to you from sitting on the Arno River where I write you weekly while I am in Florence, Italy.

I’m sitting overlooking the Ponte Vecchio, watching people go by, listening to the gorgeous inflections of the Italian language, and marveling at the beauty of it all.

The energy here is so beautiful and inspires me daily, I love sharing the behind the scenes with you here in these letters each week.

It’s almost been two months since I arrived in Italy, and I realized something this week about why I was called back here.

It wasn’t just to be in Italy. It wasn’t to learn the language, find myself, or have some huge epiphany that would suddenly give me all the answers about my life.

In fact, when I got here, I realized quite the opposite.

I’m very clear on who I am, and I’m genuinely happy with my life.

What Italy has brought out in me is a side of my creativity, inspiration, and excitement about life that I absolutely love.

It’s the art, the history, the culture, the language, the food, the fashion, the passion, and the pleasure of everyday living.

All of those things we tend to think we need to go on vacation to experience, when really, why shouldn’t they be part of how we live every day?

I’ve also rediscovered a deep love for fashion.

And for me, fashion has always been so much more than clothes. It’s deeply tied to my identity, the different chapters of my life, and the many evolutions of myself.

It’s a form of expression, and being here has reminded me how much I love that.

Whether Italy becomes a place I call home or simply a beautiful chapter in my life, I know I’ll take this way of living with me wherever I go.

But what I really wanted to share with you today is something I realized as I was journaling this week.

We can be so quick to want to know how everything is going to turn out that we forget to enjoy what’s happening right in front of us.

And I started thinking about my own experience here.

September, my first month in Italy, was nothing like I expected it would be.

But looking back, it was exactly what I needed.

Then came October, and I hit the ground running.

I wanted to experience it all. I was exploring, creating, meeting people, embracing everything around me, and really taking advantage of each day.

And it’s been beautiful.

Now, as I head into my third month here, I’m finding myself wanting something a little different.

More space, more presence, more joy, and more pleasure in the everyday.

And what struck me as I sat overlooking the Arno was that I needed September to unfold the way it did, and I needed October to be everything it was, to arrive at where I am today.

I couldn’t have planned that.

And even if someone had handed me a crystal ball when I first arrived and shown me exactly how these months would unfold, what would have been the point?

I would have missed the experience of living them.

And yet, how often do we want exactly that?

We want someone to give us the guarantee.

To tell us we’re on the right path, that we’ve made the right decision, that everything is going to work out, and that we’ll end up exactly where we’re supposed to be.

But that’s not how life works.

The whole point is living it. Experiencing it. Figuring it out as you go.

And continuing to refine and design the life you want to live.

It’s why I’ve always taught Live Life by Your Design, Not by Default.

Because we can’t judge every moment or be afraid to go for something simply because we don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

We can’t wait for someone to hand us that quintessential guarantee that everything is going to be right.

There is no such thing.

You make it right.

That’s what I’m doing here in Italy.

I’m making this experience right for me.

I’m enjoying what each month has brought, discovering what I want more of, what I want less of, and allowing myself to continue creating the experience I want to have.

And what a beautiful gift that is.

As I head into November, I don’t need to know exactly what this next month will bring.

I know what I want to create and experience, and I’m excited to see how it unfolds.

Because if these past two months have reminded me of anything, it’s that there’s so much beauty in the becoming.

And I don’t want to miss any of it because I’m too busy trying to figure out how the story ends.

So, here’s what I’ll leave you with this week.

What if you stopped needing to know how it’s all going to turn out and simply allowed yourself to live it?

To enjoy where you are, make decisions as you go, and trust yourself to figure out the rest.

Because you don’t need a crystal ball.

You get to write the story.

And you get to make it right for you.

Rewrite the Rules,

Melissa Kathryn

Midlife Is the Main Stage xx